lovelyanomaly:
My advisor gave me some documents yesterday that he wanted me to work on.
I have a quiz today, a stats project due Friday, and homework for another research class on Friday.
I have to finish grading the exams from one of the classes I TA. The same exam that my advisor informed me that I needed to create. The day before the exam.
Today my advisor saw me in the hallway as I was leaving for lunch and said, “Hey. Will you get those documents to me by the end of the day to turn them in?”
“Oh. You should have told me yesterday that it needed to be done today.”
“Well. It needs to be done.”
WTF.
I hate grad school.
I’m not going to lie to you. I hated it, too.
There were plenty of things I liked: people I worked with, designing experiments in the lab, constantly learning something new, the incredible feeling when everything comes together and you find a new piece to the puzzle.
Unfortunately, they were outweighed by the things I didn’t like: Obscene hours expected, everything is needed right now, alarmingly low pay, pretending that there is no such thing as work-life balance, realization that I was working toward a goal that I no longer wanted, sprinting out of CLSL to go move my car because the city of Urbana towed cars from the street starting at 2:00 AM.
You can’t make yourself be motivated to do something you don’t like or care about. Find what you want, and keep that in mind as your goal. Remember that graduate school is just a means to that end, and it can help keep things in perspective.
For me, this meant that once I realized that what I wanted to do was not the track I was on, I decided that getting a Masters and getting out was a better idea. It wasn’t what I originally thought I wanted, but know now that it was the right decision and I wouldn’t change it.*
*Full disclosure: That may actually be the first time I’ve said that. I did struggle for a while with feeling like the fact that what I ended up doing didn’t match what I set out to do meant that I was a failure.